What is anger in reality? Why it arises? What is it that underlies the feeling of anger in the first place? Why people seem to suppress it or over-express it? Can anger be a servant to deep understanding of yourself and a catalyst of positive change? Dealing with anger in today’s society in the right way could bring and end to all world’s conflicts.
“In anger there is an acknowledge of a choice. And the best choice to make is to deal with the deep vulnerability that exists below anger itself. Anger is not bad and anger is not wrong. It’s just a symptom, which is showing you that something about your life is out of alignment and needs some loving care and unconditional attention” Teal Swan
Teal Swan – the Spiritual Catalyst and one of my favourite modern spiritual teachers/guides released recently a new episode on her youtube channel on dealing with anger whenever it arises. She presents an amazing, detailed, psychological autopsy of an emotion of anger and speaks about its role in our lives. In this 30 min video, Teal Swan goes through a thorough, well thought through and transparent process of showing you how to deal with anger step by step. It’s a great well of information that takes you deep into the process of knowing yourself and dealing with your emotional state without judgement and inner unrest that could lead to even lower vibrational, emotional state like helplessness, powerlessness, humility or guilt, to name a few. Teal Swan takes on a role of a virtual psychiatrist that fills in the gaps all the missing puzzles pieces to help create a whole picture, that will give you the answer to getting OUT of the pain and its external cover up syndrome – anger. For all of those who feel this subject relates to them or their loved ones, or are having problems with their “angry” kids – this video will be of enormous help to you.
What exactly is it that we should do about our anger?
1. Don’t distract yourself from your anger. Recognise it as such. I am angry. (it’s not a bad thing).
2. You need to care that you feel angry and see it as valid and important. Don’t seek to control your anger but seek to take care of your anger the way you would take care of a crying child. Validate your anger and affirm that you have every right to feel the way you feel. Seek to understand the real reason why you feel angry. Understanding anger is really easy and simple but requires bravery.
What questions should you ask yourself to get to the root of that anger that you feel?
- What do I feel so threatened by?
- Why do I feel so threatened by that thing?
- What about that hurt me so bad?
- What am I really afraid of in this situation?
- What need do I have in this situation that is not getting met?
You will find that just the awareness of the pain that is hiding underneath the anger, takes the edge off of that anger. You are also going to be dealing with the real root of the anger, instead of just the surface symptoms, which is the anger itself. Also – the willingness to consciously feel your emotions of anger, and to go in the direction of the vulnerability, of the hurt and of the fear – you will find yourself in the state of allowing. Anger s the state of resistance, and so anger can not survive in that atmosphere of allowing. We need to be unconditionally present of what is arising as a result of those previous steps. You must integrate the feeling and not suppress it. In further parts of the video you will come across techniques of dealing with anger as the breathing exercise, writing down your feelings and addressing the emotions that are hiding underneath the emotion of anger, catharsis process , art creating, trying to develop empathy and compassion towards the person you are angry with, music, seeking water, picking something that feels better to focus at – like empowers, inspires and motivates you, … and much more.
For more psychotherapeutic techniques that you can practise from the comfort of your own home that will help you understand your anger – watch the entire video :
Hope this post will help some of you out there understanding the nature of anger in the first place and embracing it in loving grasp until it releases the juices of its underlying causes. Once you follow that and other steps of the process advised by Teal Swan – you will change your vibration and add a positive change to the collective cloud of vibrational change – from anger to higher emotional resonance charged with higher scale of positive feelings based on true recognition of the anger in the first place.
Additionally – there is an amazing video from Teal, that is related to the posted video on anger in a way. The video is called “How to Cure Apathy” and presents a deep psychological portrait of a a person sunk in apathetic emotional state, the cause of it, dealing with root cause of despair that leads to apathy and solutions to come out of it. Great video for all parents as well. Step by step process to follow. Brilliant advice she gives:
In Loving Kindness,