My first addiction – Documentary Films – eaten in bulks! Tasty!

Excited ! As I am going to get to know myself even better now… and here’s why…

For the next couple of dozens of upcoming posts I will be reliving few years back from my life, submersed into digging up all I had been up to concerning riding the Learning Wave 😉 I will be going through tones of my own facebook posts starting from the earliest ones as well as through e-mails to myself ( yeap, you heard correctly ) that I kept sending and sending and sending to my own inbox whenever I came across something worth “checking out”. As crazy as it may seem, yes, the biggest number of emails I’ve received up to date came from…myself  🙂 No need to pity, though. I love them all. They pretty much sum up step by step my Quantum Leap Journey from its earliest phase into Present state better formed Awareness. Most of my emails are brief, containing links to websites, seminars, lectures by particular people, videos, documentaries, names worth checking out, books in Pdf, articles filled with eye opening material, words of wisdom and quotations blended into one’s thinking – pattern changing images and much more.

It’s interesting how when you allow and open a window to other possible solutions out there… the amount of information that keeps pouring into your life is truly overwhelming. I loved this feeling. Once you crossed this Doors of Perception, there’s no coming back. I got hooked, I always wanted more. Felt there is much more to life and wanted to know it all. Or at least attempt to know it.

I was in my early twenties, as I was a student of Journalism and Social Communication, who instead of going out and having “fun” with my colleagues, got so addicted to Self Development process and questioning all around me, that I could hardly see constant socialising ( which was previously a big part of my everyday life ) as something appealing to me any more. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t an outcast ( at least not that much of an outcast ), but I just naturally fell off the common path and started creating and discovering my own one… full of bumps and obstacles at times , but rewarding my unfed curiosity. And I was curious about… everything…there was so much to found out about.krrr

A day without listening to a meaningful lecture, TED talk, documentary movie or reading an alternative book or article from a rather underground/activism related source was a wasted one, unfulfilling.  I got subscribed to more and more online seminars, off the beaten path blogs, websites etc. Time was an issue and I didn’t want to waste any of it, so I quickly learnt divided attention ability and was learning  everywhere at any possible time. While at kitchen, preparing food – a lecture or an interview with a renowned icon on a particularly interesting subject to me, was playing in the background or on my headphones. While hoovering, while getting ready to go out, to university, while putting on (vegan) make up … you name an activity we all do on daily basis – yeap – I could easily squeeze my “teachings” into it. It was a reflex. I wake up, I click on the information download button  … Learning process has began and nothing could stop it. It was my heroine. My addiction. And interestingly … it hasn’t changed much over these years. On the contrary, it grew stronger. And I grew stronger with it. I started connecting the dots fast and exercised my brain ability to do so with the sea of information I was swimming in at the time. I could easily drown. But I decided to surf on the waves instead and never looked back.

I came across a quotation by Oscar Wilde somewhere and thought to myself that I couldn’t agree more with is words. I posted it on my fb page 5 years ago and since then, it resonated with all of my life choices:

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

A great dosage of free knowledge came with the discovery of  Top Documentary Films website with a wide choice of hundreds of FREE documentaries combined into different and easily to choose categories like: health, environment, economics, politics, conspiracy, media, science, philosophy, psychology, technology, cosmology, quantum physics (!)  and more. Name a subject of your interests – there is probably an alternative movie on this website that would satisfy your hunger. And I felt always hungry for knowledge. Starving, to be more precise. I was usually choosing a subject randomly or just  wherever I felt like watching an alternative health therapies movie, one focused on teachings delivered from Eastern philosophies  or a political one – I just did that.     I had stages when I got hooked on watching everything out there from one category in order to compare information given and was creating my own vision of reality and “how things really are” out of it.

After I went through hundreds ( yeah, I know…hundreds ) of movies listed on this website, I just realised how little I actually learnt during my formal education years and what a waste of time it had been. Formal education seemed stiff, rigid, following obsolete formats and rules and above all was there to kill creativity, teach us what to think instead of how to think.  There is actually an interesting TED talk on this matter, that just came to my mind, by Sir Ken Robbins called “Do schools kill creativity”? . Definitely worth watching if not seen yet, as it became quite famous a while ago.

Documentaries played a huge role in my awakening process along the way and became somewhat of my everyday partner in life 🙂  They definitely added a powerful brick to the building of my out of box thinking construction. I did become kind of outsider, yet never felt negative about that. I liked spending time on my own, yet I was never alone… I was this Research Girl – always surrounded and accompanied by information I chose to be with, not the one compulsorily put upon me. Not in the conformity path. Although often in doubts, I liked the way things were unfolding and what was yet to come. I always felt I don’t really belong anywhere… I didn’t feel myself in many social situations and circumstances out there, that I was supposed to follow or do or go along with for the sake of it. Because that’s the way “things are” and should be. I crossed out “should do” from my dictionary fast and was left with “want to do”, “deeply feel like doing”. It worked for me.

There was no turning back. I was eager for more, more more…..I was ready to dive deep into the rabbit whole … I wanted to be like Alice.

So I started my journey through my Research Wonderland. Evolving Consciously…



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